Bitterness...kill it!

Bitterness. This is one thing I have a problem with. It doesnt harm anyone else but yourself.
It's amazing what bitterness can do to me. A human mind is very interesting. More than thinking of good things, it tends to think of the worse. The next second you know, you're just depressed, sad...for pretty much no reason at times. Why can't I just be cheerful to know that there is a God who cares and loves than no one else could ever do? I guess this is part of the human flesh. A constant fight with the flesh.


Every time I sit and think of the things that goes around my head, I am reminded of this verse.

"The heart is deceitful ablove all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?"

Jeremiah 17:9

I hate it...I pray for a pure heart, pure mind, and a pure love for others.
But God, I need your help...

Burning out

Sure, we can do all things...
but in the end...
we need help.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble"
Philippains 4:13-14

Baggages

During our recent trip to Cebu for the pastors and workers' conference, going back to Iloilo was a learning experience for me. As we went to the pier to get aboard the ship going to Iloilo, security had to inspect all our things for deadly weapons. As I was passing through the metal detector, it kept beeping on me! The guard won't let me pass through until there was no more beep. So I had to remove my cellphone...then my coins and keys...lastly, my belt that had a metal buckle. Finally, the detector went silent after I removed all the metal objects attached to me. The lesson: Don't carry too much metal on my next trip.

Sometimes in our walk with the Lord we carry too much extra baggage. This can come in different forms like bad habits, bitterness, or anxiety. But it can also come in good packaging such as activities that don't really help us stay focused on God's call upon our lives. Sometimes good things become the enemies of the best things that God has for us. Let's seek the Lord for His perfect will for our lives and lay down anything that can hinder us from running our race.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” - Hebrews 12:1

RJ
Iloilo City, Philippines

A little frustration.....

Maturity is, I think, one of the hardest things to yield to. We get comfortable as people with our friends and family, but then that is what makes us loosen up our guard on maybe things we say, or being lax about something we might expect from them without asking. We are thoughtful and polite to new people, but are extremely thoughtless and even tactless to people we come in contact with daily. What a horrible thing we war against, whether it be from Satan or just our plain old flesh. We get hurt so many times by insensitive comments, but then we shoot back imprudently just to avoid them noticing how they had cut us. Our words truly are as sharp as a sword, and like James 1:19 and verse 26, we should be more prayerful in our words towards others. "A soft word turns away wrath." I sometimes despise this verse, because it takes a complete humbleness of my pride to obey this one note of wisdom from the Lord. Help! But this frustration will pass, and maybe the next time will be easier, because it is slowly building my maturity.

Instability

Driving home after one class, stressed...I sit in the car driving just seeking God because I know that I can't do it on my own. Things rush through my head, tears watering my eyes but never falls down my cheeks because the act of being "strong" or perhaps pride will not allow it even when no one is around.
Frustrated within myself, I look for ways to encourage myself to keep me going...
and it always end up being reminded of God's promises for us.

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you;

He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22

"For with God nothing will be impossible." Luke 1:37

He always gives me little drops of blessings that keeps me going. He sustains me...

I don't know where I am being led to, but this things that He has started in me leads to something unexpected. I can't quit...I have to keep pressing on.

"I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:14

October 11, 2006

10-11-06: This date is written next to three different verses in every B1BL3 I own. (All two of them.) I can remember it so clearly. If you will, please follow me back in time to October 11, 2006.

It was just like any other night I spent in Japan: busy. Something inside me felt different though. I needed to get away for a little bit. It was actually against the rules for me to leave the house this late at night. We had just gotten back from some meeting at the Koinonia Café and curfew was closing in quick.

I snuck out anyway.

I walked to the little park close by (which is now a huge park) to get alone and think. No one in sight, it was just me. Just me: an adopted child crying out to his Dad about an uncertain future. "Do you want me in China? I don’t even like China!"

On my knees in the shadows of playground equipment with the Book in front of me, I decide to strike a deal. I’m not much on making deals with God. But I think if you will seriously act out on them that He will speak to you. So I said if He gave me three verses that specifically spoke to me about China I would go, no questions asked.

(I should point out that I had been thinking about how the government churches in China are not allowed to talk about the resurrection.)

Open the book, Mark 16: all about the resurrection. Underline it, first verse.

I really like Japan. I don’t really want to go to China.

I flip over a little bit, 1 Corinthians 2:2.
“For I determined not to know anything among you except JC and Him crucified.”
Underline it, second verse.

Oh man, I’m stuck now.

Flip down a little farther to have Ephesians 5:14 jump up and kick the wind out of me.
“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And C will give you light.”

Relief pours over me like a flood. I know what I have to do. I still don’t really like it, but at least there is no more inner conflict. No longer a battle between my flesh and His Spirit. Underline it, third verse.

It’s nearly 1:30 now. Tom would kill me if he knew. My legs are asleep and it takes me nearly 10 minutes to be able to walk. I get back to my room around 2 ‘o clock and sleep.

I have never slept better in my life than I did that night.

Jump forward a year and now I’m living where those three verses sent me. I could never ask for more.

Doing exactly what He wants, even if you don’t think you will like it, will bring a constant joy that nothing else can come close to. Every time I almost get ran over by a bus, every time I get stared at and called a foreigner, every time my student's eyes light up because they finally understand the difference between past perfect and past continuous, every time I play guitar and hear Him harmonizing with me, every whisper in my heart to lift my spirit, every glance over His shoulder to make sure I’m following, every tear fallen in prayer, every “I love you,” all these things remind me of different promises He has given me.

Given us.

Act on what He says, it will set you free.

Blessings

How often do we rob Him from blessings us? It might sound weird " rob God from blessing us?"
To think about it, God has blessed me so much to a point I don't understand why He does so.
But I was reading in Deuteronomy towards the end of chapter 32. Moses is taken up this mountain where he can overlook the promise land that God has promised the Israelities, but Moses is told that he cannot enter into the promise land because of this one time (I'm sure he disobeyed more than once but) he didn't seek God and took action to smite the rock so that the water will gush out. He is told that he will "die on the mountain" and that he will not be able to enter the promise land. Later on in Deuteronomy 32:10 it is written that "since then there has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face."

I don' know if I am getting the point across here, but God wanted to bless Moses even more. Though Moses was an awesome prophet, he seeked the Lord and obeyed the Lord, but when he fell to seek the Lord this one time, it hindered him from entering to the promise land.

I think it is the same for us. He always blesses us even when we fail to completely obey Him, and I think this is because through His grace and love for us. But imagine how much more He wants to bless us? He desires for our whole committment to Him. To seek Him in everything we do. Can you imagine what more He has for us after ALL that He has done for us?

These passed two weeks...

So these passed two weeks have been insane! Last Wednesday I was driving home from an awesome day at school and i got stuck behind a bus, so of course I had to stop. Well, as i am stopped I realize that there is a wreck on my left, and I probably won't be going anywhere for a minute or two so i just chill. Then, my chai spills all over my lap, my Air Conditioner thermometer hits me in the face, my seatbelt smashes against my chest, and I hit my head on the headrest. The lady behind me was rubber necking the cop helping the other wreck, and hit me going 50 mph. Needless to say, my car (named Harold :]) is smashed in, and I am very shaky, but not hurt. Neither was the lady. She was actually very nice and admitted fault to the accident. But... That doesn't fix my car! I've been without a car for a week and having to use my sister's car or my dad's car which is just another inconvenience for them! I might add that my job was only slightly understanding about the accident, which only made me want to quit more! (I've been trying to quit for a month, but haven't had the courage). So I start looking for a car and a new job the next day, and nothing seems remotely promising, I even fought with my mom a little about it! But two days ago, my dad and i came across the perfect car, and bought it for much less than i expected to spend on half as nice a car as that. also, my old manager from Old Navy called me the other day and offered me a job at Academy Sporting Goods, which is ANOTHER huge blessing! I've just been thanking HIM for all of this! Hooray! He is good, and will never let something horrible like a car wreck happen, and then not take care of us afterwards!

This has been huge for me. Hope it encouraged you some too! :)

UseLESs rUsH

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil." - Ephesians 5:15-16


Recently, I had to rush some errands for my office and I didn't have a lot of time in my hands since I decided to do it on my lunch break. I had to go to the mall to buy lunch, get a staple gun, swing to the other office to drop some supplies, pick up the laptop the company issued me, and go back to my office. All this has to happen in one hour.

12:00:01...12:00:02...12:00:03...12:00:04...

The following occurs between 12:00 P.M. and 1:00 P.M.

Preparing to rush out the door, I picked up the plastic bag that I thought were the supplies I needed to deliver. I got to the mall parking lot and I took a good look at the bag -- it was the wrong one, since I picked up the plastic bag containing the trash instead! I then had to go to plan B.

12:59:57...12:59:58...12:59:59...01:00:00

In the world we live in today, things are rushing. Even on this remote island in the Philippines were I live in, things are already starting to be fast-paced. Life just keeps demanding, doesn't it? Still, we are called to be wise people. We Christians live by a higher standard and we live by faith. No matter what happens, let's take time to wait on the Lord, to pray over things, and to make decisions based on a Biblical world view, and not the view the world tries to plunge down our throats.

RJ
Iloilo City, Philippines

Understanding

"What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this."
-John 13:7

It's remarkable how little we actually know about the present. It's so easy to articulate exactly how we were feeling last week or last year. We can tell someone why we were upset, but we can't often tell them why we are upset.
(Maybe I'm the only one with that problem. I'm sure you can perfectly articulate yourself every time you want to express a deep spiritual truth that is taking place in your life at this moment…)

I've heard people say they are going through something that is teaching them patience. Only when it's over they talk about how much humility they learned. They had no idea that humility was being worked into them.

It's not often that we are willing to admit that we have no clue what is happening in our spirit. Sure we will admit it to Him, it's not as if we can hide it from Him anyway. To tell our friends - our like-minded cohorts - that we don't know (or even that we doubt) might be inviting attack from the side that ought to help. We might be accused of a lack of fervency in our prayers or we might be told that we are not reading enough.

I’ve learned not to be afraid of not understanding. I need to understand everything. That has been what held me back more than anything. I thought I knew what was going on and s a result of my assumption I held back what He was able to do in me. Right now I have no idea what He's doing, but I know it's something. That's all I need to know. Not understanding His something is far better than my assumption.

Ask me next year what He did this year.